yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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