Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
