i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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