My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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