i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
