They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
