I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Randomize