We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
