Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize