I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
