Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
