I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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