I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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