so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
