his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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