How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
