So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
