What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
