Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
