I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
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Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
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I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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