Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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