I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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