let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
