Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I need a beard to bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You were trust falling into bushes
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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