I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
