I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize