The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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