Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
