Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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