Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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