i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
