dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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