WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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