perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize