Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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