perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
