We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
