Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
