Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
