It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize