doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's never too late to be topless.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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