D3 body, D1 cock
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
