He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
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she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
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It's no shave November. This is our time.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?