i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.