I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's rum buckets o'clock
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
