Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She told me I should be a condom model.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail