is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed