So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
