Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
