She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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