He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
