i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Randomize
