you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
