just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
