I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
