the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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