Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
