She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
