If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
