I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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