Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i out mim tonsoeep
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